It’s easy to think that you’re the only person in the whole, wide world who feels the way you do. The only person who is often worried, often scared, often lonely. Especially when it comes to things related to socializing. No one else seems to have this fear of other people – they all just move around in the world, interacting with people and chatting and being themselves with no trouble whatsoever. They don’t struggle to know what to say when they meet new people, or stumble when they find ways to end a conversation gracefully. They can go to new places and meet strangers without a sick feeling in their insides.
But every now and then you’re reminded that you’re not the only person living in their own little, solitary bubble of comfort. Laurie's excellent entry reminded me today that it’s good - and it’s important – to venture outside the bubble occasionally. And to keep in mind that even if the worst possible thing happens, it’s still not going to be something that will crush me.
So, yeah, I’m thinking about looking for a knitting group nearby to join, and break up my solitary evenings of just me and my needles. It would also serve to help my co-workers, in that I would have someone else to talk to about knitting, and they can stop putting so much effort into the smile-and-nod response as their eyes glaze over whenever they ask me what I did last night, and the answer involves cabling, or possibly gauge.
But for tonight, I’m stepping outside my comfort zone in an entirely different way. I’m swatching for a (gulp) sweater. I know that a sweater isn’t the big, scary thing I’m making it out to be in my head, but that doesn’t stop me from putting it off and anticipating horrible disaster.
But, again – what’s the worst that could happen? (Unjinx! Unjinx!)