Escape from the Couch

I did it! I actually got off the couch and went to see people and knit with them - and on a school night, no less!

I made contact with someone in a Mississauga knitting group a couple of weeks ago, and found that the group meets pretty close to where I live. I planned to go that first week, and then the second week, but odd things happened in the way that they tend to do - I had to work late, and then Jodi was here visiting. For years, nothing happens on Wednesdays. Go figure.

But I finally made it out tonight, and met some very nice people, and got some knitting done, and even learned how to rip back and pick up better (and by 'better', I mean 'without losing track of all the stitches and having to restart entirely, which is my usual way'). I have to say that I'm kind of proud of myself for going and hanging out with strangers. This is not my way. But it's a good change. I hope to go back again - probably with a simpler project, so that I don't spend half the time ripping.

I have a couple of projects on the go right now - I will share one of them once I have all the elements right - light, a camera, the inclination to use both, and the second will have to be only hinted at, as the recipient occasionally (not often) visits here, and this is one I want to be a surprise. But I'm loving it, and so must find a way to share the joy.

For now, though, it's sleepy time. My one little Strongbow and the late (for me) night out have combined to cause me to drift off with my fingers on the keys.

Hello, Spring!

Keira, originally uploaded by Vaedri1.

Trombones are So Passe

Every time I use it, I have the same thoughts.

Is the paperclip dispenser not the cleverest little invention ever? You know the one I mean - little rectangular box with a circular, magnet-lined hole in the top. And you pick up the box and shake it and the paperclips, rather than flying or sliding out of that little hole, all pop helpfully around the rim, eager to be plucked and put to use.

I'm pretty easy to please some days.

And for the days when it's more of a challenge, I turn to my more interesting paperclips.

Saturday From the Couch

I've indulged in yet another lazy Saturday. I sat curled up on my little loveseat, cat rolled into a furry, snoring ball next to me, with my laptop and knitting in turn taking up the space on my lap.

I've finished all but the seaming and fastenings on a baby kimono from Mason Dixon Knitting. I have a lot of baby knitting to do this year, and it's about time to get started. Jodi is due in early September (she likes to say she will be in labour on Labour Day), Chrystal is due in June, and Cathy was supposed to be due in April.

Apparently, however, conditions were a bit cramped and the little ones decided to make a break for it before things got any tighter. Cody and Emily arrived on March 9th. The proud grandma has set up a blog to keep everyone updated on the early arrivals, and you should definitely go and check it out if you like pictures of very cute babies. Here's a taste.

The evening has been spent half-watching Titanic on TBS while I back up my cd collection. It's a trip back to the nineties for me, with cds by The B-52s, Frente, Blind Melon, and Great Big Sea. I realised the other day that it has been maybe years since I listened to any of my cds, and that's a shame. So into mp3s they all go. Then I can put away the cds, probably for good.

And yes, I'm counting this as part of spring cleaning.

Good News and Critters

This was a glorious weekend, in a way that only the first sunny, warm days of the year can be.

The weekend started out with a quick drive down to Windsor with Jen. I make the three and a half hour drive down the flat, uninteresting stretch of 400-series highways often, and it was nice to have someone in the car with me for a change.

This was our goal:

Jen came to adopt Tulsa and take her home to become part of her family.

We also took advantage of the wonderful, warm Saturday to go out and play with the critters in the barn.

While we were visiting Ken and Jodi, I got some more very good news. Jodi handed me a bag full of baby yarn. She's expecting in September. And expecting a blanket some time before that.

I like weeks this full of good news.

Breathe.

Today we got some super, terrific, fantastic, wonderful news.

Last week, Mum went for a CT scan, to check on the progress of the cancer/chemo battle. Today, she got the results.

The cancer is almost gone.

Mum will need to continue this round of chemo and stay on the neupogen shots until May or so, but things are definitely looking positive.

When my mum told me, I felt like I'd been holding my breath without knowing it since November, and was finally able to exhale and draw in fresh air again. I've been determinedly, stubbornly, maniacally positive; forcing a strength and an optimism that doesn't come naturally to me. The only time I broke down a little was the day I heard the actual numbers - the stats concerning her 'chances'. And it wasn't that the numbers were so horrific, or so discouraging. No, it's just that, even a number as hopeful as "70%" leaves an enormous, frightening hole of 30% - a 30% chance of the unthinkable. And so, after that night, it was relegated to that hole - the realm of the unthinkable, and therefore a Thing I Do Not Think About.

The "George's Father" storyline on Grey's Anatomy was a little hard to take, I must admit (darn my love for that show!). During the seemingly hours that it took me to fall asleep last night, knowing that the news would come today, I kept hearing George saying, "I don't know how to live in a world where my dad doesn't." What a horrific thought.

But all is good, and I had a day of floating on air, and dancing down the hall at work - and yes, I was caught at it and I didn't care.

My mum kicks cancer's ass. I'm taking all the happiness and bravado I can get today and holding onto it with both hands.

Preparing to Pop the Bubble

It’s easy to think that you’re the only person in the whole, wide world who feels the way you do. The only person who is often worried, often scared, often lonely. Especially when it comes to things related to socializing. No one else seems to have this fear of other people – they all just move around in the world, interacting with people and chatting and being themselves with no trouble whatsoever. They don’t struggle to know what to say when they meet new people, or stumble when they find ways to end a conversation gracefully. They can go to new places and meet strangers without a sick feeling in their insides.

But every now and then you’re reminded that you’re not the only person living in their own little, solitary bubble of comfort. Laurie's excellent entry reminded me today that it’s good - and it’s important – to venture outside the bubble occasionally. And to keep in mind that even if the worst possible thing happens, it’s still not going to be something that will crush me.

So, yeah, I’m thinking about looking for a knitting group nearby to join, and break up my solitary evenings of just me and my needles. It would also serve to help my co-workers, in that I would have someone else to talk to about knitting, and they can stop putting so much effort into the smile-and-nod response as their eyes glaze over whenever they ask me what I did last night, and the answer involves cabling, or possibly gauge.

But for tonight, I’m stepping outside my comfort zone in an entirely different way. I’m swatching for a (gulp) sweater. I know that a sweater isn’t the big, scary thing I’m making it out to be in my head, but that doesn’t stop me from putting it off and anticipating horrible disaster.

But, again – what’s the worst that could happen? (Unjinx! Unjinx!)